Thursday, February 26, 2009

Slightly Inappropriate

The other day, I made a slightly inappropriate response to a pleasantry. Perhaps you're familiar with this phenomenon. Your brain anticipates the pleasantry, and before it has time to accurately process what's actually said, provides your mouth with a response. Usually they match up, and everything works out. Sometimes, they don't. Exactly.

Other party: "See you later."
Me: "You too."

Almost correct, but ... not quite. Sorry, brain, the pleasantry you were were looking for was "have a good day.'" Nice effort, though.

See also, closely related area: the slightly inappropriate pleasantry. Much like the slightly inappropriate response to a pleasantry, except this one is initiated by you. I interviewed someone a couple of weeks ago. As we shook hands before I passed the candidate off to her next host, I somehow ended our series of farewell niceties with, "I'll see you later." Um. Not necessarily.

Somehow, I almost always do this in situations where it doesn't make sense. I'm not nervous. I'm not intimidated. I'm just ... not thinking.

Sunday, February 22, 2009


Accomplishment 1 for today: above. This is my contribution to an upcoming charity auction at work, framed at last. I made the collage from some photos I took right here in Wisconsin. Clockwise: chair and table on my patio in winter, tree blossoms at Owen Conservation Park in spring, brown-eyed susans at the park in the summer, and grasses at the park in autumn. Hopefully, someone will want it.

Accomplishment 2 for today: a purchase. Of plane tickets. For a late spring trip. To a new country! Holy crap, I actually pulled the trigger. Now, to begin brushing up on my language skills. Ahora, mi español es muy mal. Hace muchos años yo lo estudié. Cuando yo quiero hablar en español, con frecuencia digo una palabra en el ruso. ¡Ruso estúpido!

Monday, February 16, 2009

More Illinois

Work: swamped. Big deadline. Can't think. Oh crap. Must blog. Busy weekend! Still tired. Word pairs: good enough.

Tweedy shows. Song requests. Played mine! Jake's bar. Golden Nugget. "Nipple tits." Lost wallet. Snow fight. Clown car. Wallet found. Laptop party. Cold line. Valentines. Many dogs. Many friends. Glove twins. Sooz's balls. (Peanut butter.) Blasting Fonda. Long Cut. Handsome Family. (Times two.) Philly's Best. Much talk. Little sleep. Pancakes. Dog show. Kuma's burgers. Drive home.

Some pics:

Ann Sather

Lowered booze

Goofy pose

That's it. (For now.)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Unexpected search results

One morning last week, I woke up contemplating a hamburger with two waffles for a bun. There was no earthly reason for this. I'd never heard of such a thing. Though I am familiar with the similar concepts of the McGriddle and the frightening Krispy Kreme burger. And just recently learned Dunkin Donuts has a new waffle breakfast sandwich.

As a rule, I don't wake up thinking about any particular food item, let alone something I've never heard of. So this had me curious. I know I'm a fan of chicken and waffles from Roscoe's, so it seemed like this idea had potential. Was there such a thing already? I wondered. So I googled it.

Go ahead. Try it out.

In case you didn't try, I'll just say that the first results are from Urban Dictionary, and the visible portion of the definition includes, "...a complicated sexual act..." And it gets weirder from there. So much weirder. Oh, the things people come up with. (And the names they give them. Seriously, what?)

So, just so we're clear. I woke up thinking about this:

Not this:

Thursday, February 5, 2009

A matter of time

I live very close to work. This is good, because lately almost every weekend I'm making up for lost driving time. Today I realized I'm smack in the middle of five weekends of Illinois. This stretch comes directly on the heels of the D.C. trip (though at least I reached D.C. by plane.) I bought my car in 2003, and it has over 110,000 miles on it. I haven't had any catastrophic problems thus far, but how much longer can I stay lucky? Should I start a pool on where I'll be when the car just quits? My money's on I-90.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Things that scared me as a child

1. That Cookie Monster would chase me around the basement, riding a bed (based on a bad dream)

2. The Big Bad Wolf

3. That our living room clock would chime twelve times for midnight and then keep on chiming, and a door on the front of the clock would open and a skeleton would come out

4. Animal from the Muppets

5. The Pistol Packin' Papa shoe holder draped over the inside of my closet door

6. The full-length mirror on the door to the den at Nana's house, when the door was in motion

7. The Punky Brewster episode where all they go into a cave

8. My mom's cousin Edgar